Animals, and other things I dislike

I don’t like animals.  I want them to be healthy, happy, and loved.  But I do not want to be the person who does it.  There are no major life tragedies that have made me this way.  I am not afraid of animals.  I would just prefer them never to be in my personal space.  Which is how I feel about a lot of people.  No, I am not autistic.  My mom teaches special education.  Trust and believe I have been tested.

Judge all you would like.  I know this is a deal breaker.  I tell each guy on the first date, or at least by the third.  My students loved to joke about this.  They drew cats on the white board in my class constantly.  In fact when telling them I was sick – I said it wasn’t serious I just wanted to move in with my parents to be closer to animals.

My parents have a dog, Duke.  He is brown.  My brother has a dog, Bear.  He is a Rottweiler.  My brother loves his dog more than me.  Duke is a new dog so I still reign supreme.

Since moving out 10 years ago I have made no effort with the family animals.  I was only ever around for a week at a time.  This stay is different.

Today, I pet Bear.  Then he licked me so that experiment ended abruptly.  Yesterday, I pet Duke.  Today he dropped chewed up paper on me.  I yelled at him and told him his breathe smelled like ass.  Which is true since he insists on stuffing his nose in everyone’s ass.  

As with any relationship it takes time to adjust.  But for the first time in my adult life I am making an effort to live in harmony with animals.  Maybe I'm dying?

Also, ‘Saunaing with Sadie’ is going to become a regular feature!  If you have a question or issue you would like me to discuss from the sauna leave it in the comment section below. 

I have never been more unattractive naked

I made it 20 minutes.  Decided I was a badass.  Then the universe put me in my place.  Luckily I managed to get to the floor before gravity took me there.

My mom and I will continue to work on our movie production skills.

Dear Delta

I was very anxious to fly home.  I initially didn't want to go home because I knew the flight would be so taxing that it would worsen my symptoms.

Thank you, Delta, for easing my travel woes.  Loosing the wheelchair reservation at our arrival made me confidant that the rest of the journey would be a breeze.  When the individual pushing my wheel chair decided my trip was finished, I felt at peace.  Being separated from my mom only to end up crying and limping to the bathroom as the nausea overtook me brought me great joy.

When the wheelchair wasn’t at the gate for our layover, I knew it be smooth sailing.  After all there were only 6 other disabled individuals waiting to be whisked away to miss their flights.

The cart driver informed me I had to walk the about a quarter of a mile because the cart couldn't access my terminal.  Dare I say that Terminal A in Minneapolis wasn't ADA compliant?  Never.

The trip ended as smoothly as it began.  At our destination there was once again no transport. 

Thank you, Delta.  I hope that all disabled people will pick you as their airline of choice.

Sincerely,

Bitter Sarcasm

Swag

True swag is looking like this and still being asked out by the man next to you on the airplane. 

 

#Fierce

Lyme-over

I am paying the price today for those sexy shoes and how that one glass of bubbly turned into....well more.  But it was all worth it to pretend like I wasn't sick for 3 hours.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, balloons, cards, and company!

Vision, Hopes, and Reality

A friend of mine was big into the whole 'vision board' thing, and this year I decided to give it a go.  No, I didn't put 'contract a debilitating disease' on the vision board.  Out of the 9 things I did envision I have done 3.  Not bad, disease and all.

I like thinking ahead and planning.  But on certain occasions I like to look back.  My birthday is one of those occasions.  I don't know when it began, but I have a huge (unrealistic) love for birthdays.  It is a personal day to think about the past year - what went well - hear from people you haven't heard from in a while - celebrations - dancing - gifts - friends - family.  It is your own personal holiday.  A day to feel special.  A day to be over the top.

I enjoy being over the top.  I unapologetically love balloons.  I wear opera gloves.  Last year I put together a great outfit.  So great a man left a restaurant and came outside as I was walking by to say I was rocken it.  Now I am resigned to yoga pants and slippers.... Being sick for 5 months out of the past year has altered how I reflect on this past year.  But it also has altered how I am physically able to celebrate my birthday.

This birthday isn't what I planned or particularly wanted, but not even Lyme disease can ruin my love for birthdays.  Today I reflect.  Tomorrow I will get gussied up and pretend like I am not sick. Throw the yoga pants away.  Find my high heals.  Gather around a table with friends.  And apparently if you cry in your doctors office you may weasel your Lyme diseased way into a birthday glass of champagne!

Cheers!

Work is my Crack

If crazy eyes frighten you - don't watch this video.