So I Have Lyme Disease

I had just finished grad school so I expected that my body would crash and revolt.  I figured that after two years of over exertion it needed a rest.  The rest very quickly turned into severe headaches which very quickly turned into my face and tongue going numb.  Hi ho hi ho to the ER I go.  The doctor said, 'I think your either pregnant, have leukemia  or lyme disease.'  I threw my hands up in the air and shouted lyme disease.  Hey, judge all you want but you don't know who I had just broken up with.

2 weeks of antibiotics later I thought I was better, and went back to biking 10miles a day, working a full-time stressful job, and being a regular at the gym.

6 months later I crashed my bike and began 'falling'.  It took me two weeks to realize that the lyme was back.  I did my research this time.  Learned about the lyme controversy and how insurance companies have managed to pay off doctors and researchers so they don't have to cover lyme disease.  There still isn't a 100% accurate test for lyme disease nor is the a standard treatment plan beyond a 3 week dose of antibiotics.  Which judging by the paralysis in my face - that treatment plan clearly worked.

I found a Lyme Specialists and began hemorrhaging money.  He told me that I had Advance Lyme Disease, and it had begun affecting/targeting my adrenal gland, thyroid, and possibly my neurological system.  This would mean 6-9 months of treatment.  So my mom flew out to sit with me as I began giving myself shots in my stomach, thighs, and ass and popped 12 other pills a day.  This is called the 'Die Off' - where I self-administer drugs to kill the lymes.

I teach 18-24 year olds so not exactly a stress-free behind a desk job.  The doc said I could try to keep working and so of course I did.  I would teach in the morning and then race back to my couch to fall apart.

A month into 'Die-Off' my doctor called and said he had updated labs.  I sat in his office and tried to hold back the full fledge snot ridden sobbing as he told me I was getting worse.  My intestine and liver were now showing sensitivity and elevated levels.  Then he dealt the biggest blow: I have to quit working, and go stay with my parents.

As I got in my car to drive home I got lost.  I drove and drove and got more lost and more lost.  The panic, fear, and tears came very quick.  Not of going to stay with my parents, but rather what having to stay with my parents meant.  It meant I was sick, and really sick.

So today - 10 months after the first doctor told me I have Lyme Disease I am finally ready to accept the fact that I am sick.  I am mastering the steps: denial, acceptance, and now it is time to move onto kicking ass...well as soon as my mommy comes and flys me home. What better way to celebrate your birthday than signing disability paper work and moving back in with your parents?