For the past 3 months I have blindly trusted my doctor. I wasn't ready for anything else. There were a few people who couldn't understand that. It's not that I thought my doctor was the best. More so that I was still working, alone in a new city, attempting to cope with the realization I was sick, and the debilitating fear of adding something else to my plate.
After being at my parents for a week I am finally ready to consider a second opinion. I hate having a disease that has NO course of treatment. Hate it. I trusted my doctor because I needed to. The majority of doctors in this country don't believe my disease is real. Finding one that does believe me was the first hurdle. I am now ready to get a second opinon on if this treatment is actually going to help.
Initially I told myself that if I stopped working the treatment would work. I still hope for that. But the practical and intelligent part of me is coming back to life. It is time to accept the fact that I have been sick for almost half a year and show no signs of improving.
Who do I believe? Who do I trust to care for me so that I don't develop seizures? What doctor is telling the truth? I don't have answers. But I have a renewed sense of finding these answers. Hell hath no fury like a woman debilitated by a disease!
If you know of anyone with Lyme disease who has gotten better I would love their doctors information. I am officially ready.
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