Is that a PICC line or are you just happy to see me?

If only you knew how long I have been waiting for that post title!

As soon as the nurse came to prep me I launched into my insurance questions.  Thankfully, I dug deep for my wit and it paid off.  They laughed as I applied my own numbing cream. Quizzically wondering what else I had in my self-medication tool-kit, aka purse.  Other nurses wanted in on the fun.  One offered me a warm blanket then laughed hysterically as I said no thanks.  She walked away then immediately ran back and covered my shaking toes with the blanket saying it was free.

Remembering they had a job to do a nurse asked me if I am pregnant. I just laugh. She asked me again if I am sure.  I look deep into her eyes with all of the seriousness I could muster and asked her if you still have to have sex to get pregnant.  She blankly stares at me and says yes.  Well, then I'm not pregnant.   See picture left.
 
The laughter was helpful since there was a brief moment of panic.  I went into this thinking they would just put me in a lil room and slice open my arm - bada bing bada boom.  Nope I was rolled into a room straight off of Greys Anatomy.  I was hooked up to numerous machines and there were bright lights and lots of beeping.  My surgeon wasn't McDreamy but he earned a dreamy place in my heart.

The surgeon came in and the nurse told him I didn't want any pain meds.  He comes over to ask me why the hell not.  I give him the run down of lyme and insurance.  He leaves.  Meanwhile not a single nurse knew the cost of anything in the room.  There were two options for saline.  No one knew which was cheaper.  I told them, 'no problem, I brought my own!'  They didn't go for that.....

The surgeon comes back and gives me a shot to numb my arm, and says 'This is on the house.'  Shit I feel good about myself if I get a complimentary diet Coke, but pain meds?!  Guess who got her groove back?

The first 24 hours post surgery I was in constant pain and couldn't sleep.  So I was super pleasant to be around.  Each day has gotten slightly better, which is fantastic but the learning curve is steep.  Learning how to deal with the PICC line is compounded with the new symptoms/side effects of the IV antibiotics.  I started my first round of IV antibiotics about 3 hours after surgery and am hooked up to the IV for about 2 hours each day.

I would cross my fingers but arthritis is a bitch.  So I shall close my eyes and be hopeful.  Here we go!