My doctor called to inform me that insurance has denied my treatment. They stated that my symptoms were too vague.
After spending 45 minutes on and off of hold waiting for BCBS to tell me why they refuse to cover my treatment, I was told this: 'due to privacy policies they can't inform you what the reason for denial is'. That was it. This was the moment I lost it.
I walked into the room my mom was in and proceeded to cry.
Yesterday sucked. Scared I won't get better because it will be too expensive. Frustrated that despite being so financially responsible all of my life I will be bankrupt in about 3 months. Literally, I put all of my money from first communion into a saving account.
I really want to be healthy again. This road block scared the hell out of me that I may not get that. Seeing my friends advance their careers, fall in love, buy houses, travel is great. But yesterday that wasn't great. Yesterday I cried. Yesterday I felt sorry for myself that my life is on a very painful hold.
Today I got this video of a dear friend in Zimbabwe. She is a rock star. Today I will quit feeling sorry for myself. Today I will think about things other than myself. Today I will channel my inner rock star and get my shit together. And be awesome. Fuck you insurance. I will get better with or without your help.
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